I was trying to go for a disco/punk/noise vibe, with a heavy incentive to dance (I think it doesn’t need to said, but not many people danced to this release live). Yeah, sure I was going through heartbreak, and was desperately trying to reaffirm my self worth through “COVID-safe hookups,” but I thought I was making something REAL.

SLEEPER is the first track, which starts with a cut up sample from DyShon & Squabble’s “Thug Lady.” I used the acapella track on this record for ligrophobe.

The drums are chopped up and played with a section of ‘Home to the Sea it begins where the sea left off.’ I think I got this record at a goodwill, and it’s a new age-y poetry album accompanied by really nice instrumentals. “Music by Anita Kerr / Words by Rod Mckuen.” You can hear a man who smoked two packs of Kools try to sing to some Disney soundtrack HERE. It’s pretty charming.

Upon writing this, I forgot how much I sampled radio stations. I landed on some sweet accordion house, and just blasted that through the board. I paired that with “Wooden Ships” by CS&N. My idea was to slow down CS&N so much that it somehow lined up with the radio station.

I should mention that all these recordings where done one by one live, and then mixed together live. I don’t use a DAW, other than recording on Audacity and my cDJ software (Tracktor DJ 2, sometimes 3). Everything is recorded live as if during a set.

We then hop onto another radio station (or different song, same station), that is playing this BANGING country rock tune. I have no idea who it was, which is why I tried my best to drown it out with effects.

This is something I came up against when recording this album. I’ve recorded the radio before, but mostly for AM samples or in-between station noise. I was conflicted on how intentional I wanted these samples to be. I did want them to reflect the internal chaos and searing hot white screech, like a 9mm being shot right near your ear, screaming through your blood, peripheral eyelines and nightmares that comes with being chewed up and spit out. But also with that branding iron taunting your ears, there’s a freeing melody that comes with the stipulation that you can fuck yourself up as much as you want to.

That’s what it’s like to be CRUSHED, or have a CRUSH. When you have a CRUSH, ultimately what you’re wanting is to be CRUSHED.

So I doubled down on the frivolity of my sampling and didn’t pay much mind to the sources.

Ok, back to the track. The “ffvvVVt-ffvvVVT-ffvvVVT-ffvvVVt” sound is me switching the radio from FM to AM over and over to attempt some kind of loop. The punk record sampled is Judy and the Jerks’ “Friendships Formed in the Pit.”

(Sidenote: This is one of the records my ex left behind when they left me. HOWEVER, they fucking stole my 1985 Japanese pressing of Bauhaus’ “The Sky’s Gone Out,” and three tapestries including my Cannibal Corpse, Infant Annihilator and Sunrise Skater Kids ones. They even fucking cut the chord to my TV. What’s super funny is when I got back after they moved out, the place was trashed and a spilled bottle of Midol was in the center of the room. Like, really?! You think you’re going to shake me after displaying an attempted suicide with fucking Midol?! Ugh, they had to take a few more days to move out then agreed, because of the ludicrous amount of Squish mallows they owned.)

The track then ends with a delay-pedal loop of Judy and the Jerks, and a sped up version of the drum samples I used earlier.

As you’re probably beginning to understand, a theme in my music is processing trauma.

On to the title track, CRUSH. Maaaaaan, if you don’t feel the fucking coked-out party to the firebombing outside on this track, then you ain’t feeling it. You might be able to recognize Loleatta Holloway’s “Crash Goes Love,” and some chopped samples from the Manhattan Transfer’s “Mystery.”

(Manhattan Transfer fucking rules, I don’t care what you think).

This transitions to the record “Man on the Moon,” narrated by Walter Cronkite, which was a record given out when someone bought a Ford, Mercury or Lincoln at whatever dealership had this promotion going on in 1969. When I was recording with this album, I was having so much fun that I bumped one of my shitty 1/4″s and the climax of the liftoff was only recorded in the left ear. Meh, I think it still sounds cool.

I NEED YOU, UH I NEED AH YOU, OHHHH I NEED YOU.

Super fun track, gets the blood flowing, and every time I play it live I fuck up the house’s subs.

Writ, is kind of a blur for me. I was inspired by a clipping. track, and that’s kind of the extent of it. Not sure what I sampled, all I know is that this is actually the only track that uses a drum machine. I play this song a lot live, and people say it’s their favorite. Probably because the lyrics I gave it consists of “FUCK A BITCH WITH A STRAPON, CAN’T TELL IF IT’S BLOOD OR MY CUM.” I think it’s kind of dumb, but who am I to judge people’s preferences.

2Qt, is probably my favorite track within the album. It’s the one I come to the most when revisiting this sound. It starts out with a sample from a Christian story tape I picked up at Goodwill. The beat comes from Maurice’s “This is Acid (A New Dance Craze,)” released in 1988.

The next record I sample is بس ربحت, خسرت‘s “When You Have Won, You Have Lost” (that translates to Haram, but fuck Pitchfork for being pretentious. Piss fuck if you ask me). I actually brought this record and my shitty Crosley to a TCK class (yes, a class specifically about Third Culture Kids) and lied about how they don’t have an online presence so that’s why I had to bring the record. I used to SUUUUUUUCK.

After the chaos the song transitions to Hank Snow’s “The Prisoner Song.” I really relate to the lyrics in the song, as this was months after my ex cheated on me on my birthday.

Any way, the song ends with the acid beat slowed down.

PINK is probably the most ridiculous and unlistenable track on this album; which is why I saved it for last. True OXXXY fans (me, myself and I) can notice that most of my albums are displays of a recording processes that I come up with. At first it sounds weird, then maybe good then finally, barely holding together.

I mostly sample different tracks from Adrian Younge’s “The Electronique Void; Black Noise.” I bought this album on a whim with my ex, and upon listening to it I fucked with it hard. My ex didn’t like it. So this song is basically just a bunch of songs that my ex didn’t like (or couldn’t like) smashed together.

My friend sent me a barber shop quartet video, where this guy got super low. My ex hates fun, so I put that in.

I’m going to be honest, I was super insecure while recording this track. Especially around 2:44, I begin to think that this session is done for. I start putting sample on top of sample including a weird beat I made with a drum machine. I was pretty new to cDJs so I just kept pressing buttons until I thought, fuck it, let’s make this shit sound baaaad.

I’ve never been one to focus on making something better, but instead adapting my angle to center on the imperfections and blasting that to the front.

The song ends in a blaze of chaotic fury, fucking with the tempo but still staying rambunctious. God I sound like an asshole.

So that’s CRUSH. A noisy, fucked up, enigmatic frenzied mess. I released this the day before I surprise released an April Fool’s album “MANIK PANIK.”